dear paul

dear paul bishop with an arizona driver's license:

you wrote me a bad check this afternoon.

this is after you took advantage of the all you can eat buffet.

this is after you made yourself comfortable in a booth, hunkered down into a snore and disturbed the peace of those who had the money to eat.

i understand that you can't afford the nine dollars it costs to eat all the lunch that you can eat.

i get that you're probably homeless, need to think about putting your dollars toward your next drink and were just hungry.

i'm sorry that i couldn't let you sleep at our restaurant. the way your head bobbed was a lawsuit waiting to happen. what if you lost control of your neck during your deep slumber and broke your head against the tabletop? sweet and sour sauce can't be good for brain tissue.

but what makes me mad is that you didn't think about me.

you didn't think that your nine dollar check would bounce and incur a twenty five dollar fee. that we're just a one-restaurant small family establishment. and that we're asian and living so beyond our means as our culture dictates that we're in a precarious situation.

okay, not really. but we could be.

so paul bishop, next time just shrug your shoulders and say "hell, i could give you a check, but it'd just bounce. i'm sorry" and just walk the hell out.