sunday morning fragments

an early sunday morning
drinking coffee
paper writing
nytimes reading

girls sit to my right
passionate about god
jesus, church
and emo punk rock.

their passion is a reminder
of how mine burned out
i think i'm happier
but i recognize a void
i blink back tears

i feel no regret
for the decisions i've made
or the person i've become

yet
sometimes
i miss church
i miss passion
i miss god
i miss purpose

but as these girls talk
their passion for god
becomes a passion for
gossip
thinly veiled hate
for that girl, with that boy
and that all encompassing love
that christian christian love
swiftly becomes selective

and i remember why
i am where i am
where the passion went
where i banished god to

and instead i focus ahead of me
to a fat, bearded
suspender wearing
santa claus of a man
gripping four highlighters
different colors
different meanings
and colors his book

the next foley?

illinois senator barack obama may enter the 2008 presidential race.



he was quoted in an AP article, in response to his relative inexperience in politics, as saying:

''We have a long and vigorous process. Should I decide to run, if I ever decide to, I'll be confident that I'll be run through the pages pretty well,'' Obama said.

i first read that as "i'll run through the (congressional) pages pretty well"

check out obama's book, dreams of my father: a story of race and inheritence--i picked it up in April and read it in a night. he has also come out with a new one, the audacity of hope: thoughts on reclaiming the american dream

source: obama says he's weighing 2008 run

disclaimer

dear friends:

it has come to my attention that at least one of you (i still can't believe this) thinks that i am easily conned into posing naked with a monster mask on my head while someone takes a photo, posts it on his website and which i, subsequently, post on mine. (Reference: when a man loves women...and monsters)

in short: this isn't me.

in long: my boobs sag a lot more, i've got more fat rolls AND I DON'T POSE NAKED WHILE WEARING MONSTER MASKS.

i'm still laughing.

p.s. one friend to her boyfriend:

friend (6:26:00 PM): monster cheesecake
boyfriend (6:26:11 PM): is that like the cheesecake factory ?
boyfriend (6:26:50 PM): is this image in poor taste?

meditation

the amish schoolhouse where a gunmen shot 10 girls and killed 5 (and the remaining 5 are still critically wounded) was razed today.

it's hard to begin again.

this is ridiculous: The experience of last weekend, when tourists and well-wishers clogged roads trying to get a glimpse of the schoolhouse, made the decision all the easier. “This past Sunday it was just bumper-to-bumper out there,” said David Nissley, a Mennonite pastor. “They’d like to reduce the tourism it creates.”

tourism?

hey kids! fuck disneyland, let's go see the deathhouse of Naomi Rose Ebersole, 7; Anna Mae Stolzfus, 12; Marian Fisher, 13; Mary Liz Miller, 8, and her sister Lena Miller, 7.


source: Amish Schoolhouse is Razed

when a man loves women...and monsters

source: monster cheesecake

"that damn marijuana"

perhaps one of the funniest articles i've come across in the last few days, canada troops battle 10-foot Afghan marijuana plants

"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those [forests] did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hiller said dryly.

One soldier told him later: "Sir, three years ago before I joined the army, I never thought I'd say 'That damn marijuana'."


if you're feeling a little high on the subject, check out the canadian marijuana party (i sense a pattern). they've created an ingenius fundraising campaign entitled, "if you wish to be LUCKY, then give us money"

in case you're wondering, they have $1K in their account as of Oct 2006. i can't see why, what with the face of their party resembling an environmental santa claus: "cannabis to all, and to all a good night!"

do not use in case of fire

check out the article: yankee dies in plane crash, official says

a couple things:

(i) i'm surprised there were no references to 9/11 in the article--a plane crashes into a building in new york and no one thinks terrorist attack?

(ii) construction workers in the building take the elevator to escape the building:

Luis Gonzalez, 23, was one of several construction workers and others viewing plans for renovating an apartment in the Belaire when they looked out the window and saw a plane headed their way.

“It was coming right at us, directly at us at the floor where we were working on,” he said.

They could see the pilot’s face, he said, and then they saw the plane veering toward the right, as if the pilot was trying to avoid hitting them.

“The whole building shook,” he said. “Then we ran for the elevator.”

Rob Miranda, a carpenter also working in the building, was on the 46th floor and said the plane appeared to be wobbling as it approached.

“He was out of control,” Mr. Miranda said. “He was on an incline, accelerating as he passed. Then he hooked around the corner, he hit the north side of the building, and you heard a tremendous explosion.”

He said he and the other workers ran, checking the 38th and 39th floors for any people who needed to get out. As smoke quickly began filling up the rooms, they took the elevators down.

kids, we all know that when there's a fire, TAKE THE STAIRS.

2/3 growler = :)

now is the time for goals!

goal: to consume a growler (1/2 gallon) of delicious northern light amber from moose's tooth

delicious! and i'm about 2/3 the way through

in unrelated news, are you a two spirit?

were they male rhinos?

from the new york times:

Since the early 1990’s, for example, young male elephants in Pilanesberg National Park and the Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Game Reserve in South Africa have been raping and killing rhinoceroses; this abnormal behavior, according to a 2001 study in the journal Pachyderm, has been reported in ‘‘a number of reserves’’ in the region. In July of last year, officials in Pilanesberg shot three young male elephants who were responsible for the killings of 63 rhinos, as well as attacks on people in safari vehicles.

source: an elephant crackup?

the economics of chinese daughters

a recent new york times article, dead bachelors in remote china still find wives: "To ensure a dead son's contentment in the afterlife, some Chinese parents search out a dead woman to be his bride."

the article describes the custom of "minghun" or afterlife marriage. parents have spent the equivalent of $1200 to provide an unmarried, but very dead, son an unmarried female corpse to ensure a complete and fulfilled afterlife.

economics enters this paragraph:

"Mr. Chen said his own marriage, at 35, was a lucky stroke, coming after he lobbied the family of a younger woman in another village. It allowed him to have three children and carry on his family name. But he said the pool of available brides was limited, a scarcity that increased their value — an irony, given that some rural families, conscious of China’s one-child policy, abort female fetuses before birth or abandon newborn girls."

essentially, by limiting the number of children that couples may legally have, the chinese government places a ceiling on reproduction, which results in an inelastic supply curve at Q2. as this is below the equilibrium point of a common supply-demand curve, the price (i.e. value) of a culturally worthless daughter increases (represented by P2). moreover, a deadweight lost in incurred, which is represented by the shaded region ABC.





i'll anticipate some of your questions with the following answers:

1) yes, i actually read the news
2) yes, i actually took thirty seconds to sketch out a graph
3) yes, i actually took the time to draw said graph on my computer
4) yes, i actually posted it
5) yes, i'm a dork with little knowledge of econ (so if i'm wrong, please correct me)

source: dead bachelors in remote china still find wives

your kidney is worth at least $10K

while selling organs is unlawful in the United States, you can receive a $10K tax deduction in the following states for donating your kidney:

arkansas
georgia
iowa
minnesota
new mexico
new york
north dakota
oklahoma
utah
wisconsin

human organ trafficking or charitable donation?

[disclaimer: i am not against living organ donations]

source: source: http://www.transplantliving.org

in light of foley

similar to foley, i've kept secret of my former loves. i feel it is time to embark on a mission of complete transparency.

hah. fuck that shit.

however:

i've learned that one of the best ways to gain perspective is to undress and lay it out in the nude. to become accountable for your thoughts, even if they're now stale:

JANUARY 6, 2006
i am in like with you.

not love. not lust. but like.

you are constantly on my mind,
like some goddamn broken record

doesn't help that you call every day
not that i don't wait for it
hold my breath for the quick succession of rings

(and if you were to stop calling?
would i cease to ever breath again?)

i told you this once before
and, conveniently, we forgot about it--
both the disclosure and the rejection--
moving on, still best friends

but the like still remains, just as strong
stronger maybe?
grateful that the first confession didn't ruin a friendship
hurtful that it was the best i could be grateful for
guilty for feeling the same way still

i know the boundaries.
i've accepted it for what it is.
this is an unrequited like with a friendship at stake.
and i am unwilling to spare myself this hurt
by abandoning you and this friendship.
thus furthering my limbotic state.

NOVEMBER 6, 2005
an intense desire to run away
manifested in midnight miles
shin splints
bursting lungs
and tears disguised as raindrops

this is a recycled enlightenment

a continental journey traveled
and permanently i stayed
haphazardly homeless
fueled on impulse
an unexpected marriage of coincidence and desire

i left heartbreak at home (but not the potential stowaway)

[speaks] a stranded thread of soul:
build walls
brace for the perfect storm
embrace the emotion starter package (version 3.1)
and weather this unfortunate attraction

this is a heart-sponsored marathon

please, won't you come sit on my wall?
break it down
cry for the photo finish
and keep this silly girl from running
soon, there will be little left to run to

and i've only just got here.

le rawr!!