an open letter to love

there is a saying:
you cannot truly know love until you surrender to it.

if love is PAIN,
a VOID,
a fight against HATE

...then i suppose i know love.

because tears still roll down my cheeks,
you still invade my thoughts,
and i struggle to not hate you.

you thought i was cynical before,
well i am hopeless now.

i hope to never love again,
to skate along the edges of emotional fulfillment
because all the happiness is not worth the endless heartache.

fuck love. fuck you.